Saturday, June 30, 2012

Only one life.....

I have been grieving since yesterday morning.....I've lost a beautiful friend, taken so suddenly from us.
How can it be that I am enjoying a cuppa with her one afternoon, chatting about the kids, homeschool, life etc and then just over twelve hours later find out she's gone!
Death is so sudden and final.

The closing of one chapter and the beginning of a new.

She touched my life in such a great way and I will sorely miss her.

I can't begin to imagine the pain and turmoil being felt by her family.

I remind myself of that and have been praying for them. Yet my heart aches too.

She was such a beautiful friend, so graceful, generous, loving and accepting, full of wisdom and advice for when I needed it, a ear to listen when I needed it, a really kind person who always opened her home up to me and Rebekah. I will miss her so much!

Her kids and Rebekah are such close friends and I hope that friendship will continue yet I know that things will change for them as a family and I find myself grieving for the inevitable changes.

Rebekah burst into tears when I broke the news yesterday morning to her. We cancelled our outing and stayed home. We were in shock and also grief stricken at the same time. We had a great (for lack of a better word) time chatting about life, death, Jesus, faith and hope. We know we'll see her again but as Rebekah so maturely said to me, "I know that but I'm still sad and I'll miss her". I told her it was ok to feel sad and talked to her about how God can comfort us. Actually, I was amazed at the maturity and level of understanding of death and life through the words coming out of Rebekah yesterday, little did I know an 8 year old understood so much!

Amidst the shock, grief and sadness came over us in waves (as reality sunk in) through the day when we'd pause, hug, talk, cry and reminisce. Needless to say we both didn't eat much yesterday. Even Rebekah said she didn't feel like eating because she was sad.

My heart felt like it was ripping inside of me when I played with Rebekah during the day, with her toys. My dear friends children will not have their mum to play with them anymore. No mum to take care of them, hug them and nurture and love them.

At one point during the day, Rebekah said to me that she was like another mum to her and began crying.
You see, we saw each other weekly for almost a year and our kids played together in each other's homes, in the park and we babysat for each other. She was always so kind and loving to Rebekah which is why she said she was like another mum! What a compliment for her coming from a child's lips.

Ron cut short his day at work and came home in the afternoon. It was good to have him to talk to and process what had happened.
We all hugged each other much more than we normally do!

Some of the things I've learned from my friend were true kindness, grace, generosity and patience. I never once saw her lose her temper with her kids and as Ron reminds me, that is an oustanding compliment! I did tell her that when she was still with us. I'm so glad I did and didn't waste the opportunity to encourage her in that grace she had. Yet there are so many other things I could have told her and planned on telling her but didn't get the chance to!

We will miss her! It will take us time to get over the loss of such a dear friend.

When I left school we were all given a plaque with the quote:
"Only one life, t'will soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last"

I lost that plaque in the move from India to Australia but those words have been etched in my heart and mind and have guided my life and help me focus on the most important: to always live from an eternal perspective. My dear friend exemplified this with her life. This was on my heart all day yesterday.
She didn't care for possessions or a newer or bigger home. Jesus and her family were the most important. She poured her life into her children. Even though some of her kids are too young to potentially remember her when they are grown up, the deposit she has placed in all of them will stand them in good stead I believe.

I am blessed that she came into my life and though I will miss her, I know I'll see her again. I will attempt to remind her children of the wonderful mother they had as they grow up.

Only one life, t'will soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last!

p.s. I've withheld my friend's name for privacy reasons.


Joluise said...

Dear Rosemary and Rebekah, I am so saddened by your loss and can feel your grief through your words. Even though your dear friend is now in Heaven, the gifts she has left you both will be treasured for years to come I am sure.

It is times like this that you look at your own family and realise that every minute counts and should never be wasted and needs to be filled with love,kindness and joy as you will never get tomorrow back.

In Gods precious care - with much love and hugs Jo xxx

Joyfulmum said...

Thanks so much Jo! You are right, we need to treasure every day.

Jeanne said...

I feel so privileged to have had this secret glimpse into your special friendship. Thank you for sharing her with us all. My love and more importantly my prayers to you and Ron and Rebekah. xxx

Ruby said...

Such a bitter, sweet sorrow when a loved one who loves the Lord passes away. She sounds like a precious friend and example to you. May God give you and your family comfort and peace at this grievous time. I have been praying for her husband and children since I first read of it. Blessings Rosemary xo

Anonymous said...

Oh Rosemary,
I can't imagine what you are going through. I am so sorry for your loss. My turn to pray for you (and your friend's) family. {{hugs}} xo

Ganeida said...

(((Hugs))) Having been through this as a family I know your love, prayers & support for your friend's children will be so appreciated. May our precious saviour be especially close to you all at this time.

Butterfly said...

Have been thinking of you and the family since I read this. So sad for everyone missing this lovely lady. Thank you for writing about your sweet friend. I am praying for her family and friends, asking the Lord to comfort and strengthen everyone who is now missing her.

Love, Vanessa

Catherine said...

Sending you lots of virtual hugs.

I know how hard it is to loose a dear friend, and reading your lovely tribute to yours brought tears to my eyes.

That plaque sounds so lovely. I wonder if there's a way you can have one made up again.

May you and your friend's family receive as much comfort as you need at this time.

XXXX Catherine

Eve said...

I am so sorry to know of this loss of your dear friend. Rebekah, those are such true words, that you know you will see each other again, but you will miss her so much until then. Indeed, grief comes in waves, with new layers to come and sadness, and more emotions, to experience. I am praying for your family and those others that she leaves behind as you all grieve her loss.

Thinking of You,

P.s. Here is a poem I found that I hope eases your pain a little today.

Meet You At The Gate
© Barbara Bailey

A beautiful garden
now stands alone,
missing the one who nurtured it
but now she is gone.
Her flowers still bloom,
and the sun it still shines,
but the rain is like tear drops
for the ones left behind.
The weeds lay waiting to take
the garden's beauty away,
but the beautiful memories of its keeper are in our hearts to stay.
She loved every flower,
even some that were weeds,
so much love she would plant
with each little seed.
But just like her flowers,
she was part of God's plan
so when it was her time,
He reached down his hand.
He look through the Garden searching for the best.
That's when He found her,
it was her time to rest.
It was hard for those
who loved her,
to just let her go.
But God had a spot in his garden that needed a gentle soul.
So when you start
missing your friend,
remember if you just wait,
when God has a spot in his garden, she'll meet you at the Gate....

Eve said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mrs B said...

So so sad :o(

Joyfulmum said...

Thank you so much dear friends for your warm thoughts and most of all your prayers. I appreciate them so so much!
Thankyou so much for praying for the family too. They need it!

HomeGrownKids said...

Rosemary and Rebekah,
I am so sorry for your hurt, for your loss. She was a lovely, sweet funny lady and I can read and sense your pain and hurt. I think we all understand that we grieve for our loss and for the loss of her children and dear husband.

We rejoice in that we will meet her again one day and we are happy for that... but today we are allowed to mourn.

Again, I am sorry for your loss. xoxoxo

Probhita said...


I am so very sorry for your loss! Death is so very cruel....if it were not for the comfort that the Lord provides and the blessed hope of the resurrection, it would be devastating. I hope that you will find the sustaining strength of our Lord as you comfort your friends' family and your little girl....praying for you....Friends are such a provison from God for our lives...sounds like you have lost a treasure (for this life) but may the sweetness of the memories you shared bring solace to your heart...until you see her in the next. As your friend wisely said, we are allowed to mourn, it brings healing.

Lynnisha Dumpala said...

Dear Rosemary,

I am so sorry to hear the loss of your friend in such a sudden way. Praying that your family, and her children and husband, find comfort through this most grievous period.

Much love and hugs, Lynn

Chef Penny said...

So sorry for your loss! Praying for your family and hers.

Clara said...

Oh, I'm sooo sorry to read about this. Loss of someone you have been close to is such a difficult thing. :( Praying you feel the comfort of the Lord - and I know you wrote this post awhile ago, but I know from experience that the pain of grief lasts a very long time. And that's ok. Time does heal, but we never ever forget. What a blessing that God created us with memories that sometimes hurt and yet can bring us such joy as well.